Physical Theories As Women
an oldie but a goodie from McSweeney’s :
3. Quantum mechanics is the girl you meet at the poetry reading. Everyone thinks she’s really interesting and people you don’t know are obsessed about her. You go out. It turns out that she’s pretty complicated and has some issues. Later, after you’ve broken up, you wonder if her aura of mystery is actually just confusion.
prompted by Cocktail Party Physics where she counters with “Physical Theories Are Men” :
7. String Theory is the sensitive, complex emo guy with an impossibly brilliant mind and lots of emotional problems. In fact, he’s been in therapy practically since birth. He constantly complains that nobody understands him, and he’s right: sometimes it’s like he’s speaking an entirely different language. You’re fascinated because he’s got so many dimensional levels and seems to vibrate with a mysterious energy. Besides, you think you can help him overcome his intractable problems. You are deluding yourself. His interest in your simplistic three-spatial-dimensioned presence wanes in record time, and he starts passively-aggressively acting out. You suspect he wants to break up with you but just doesn’t have the balls to say so. He denies this when you confront him, insisting you can “work things out,” but then you find out he’s been having a fling with Loop Quantum Gravity, after swearing he hates her GUTs.
both are good reads, but McSweeney’s is the winner with their number 8. Go on… go read it.
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